Hello everyone, I'm Hitoyoshi Kusano.
[Note: Parody of Hitoshi Kusano, a former NHK announcer.]
First, an exclusive scoop.
Our "The Edo" crew has successfully contacted a major figure of the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
Here is Announcer Hanano with the report.
[Note: Pronounciation of her name sounds like "nostril".]
Hello, I'm Saki Hanano.
[Note: Hanano-saki sounds like "tip of the nose" in Japanese]
My special report is about this man...
He is well-known to the Anti-Foreigner Faction...
yet is elusive like a phantom.
He saves the weak and conquers the powerful... The last samurai.
Wanted by the Bakufu, but popular among the people of Edo...
Also known as The Unstoppable, the one and only K-san.
He is considered a major figure by the police department.
Since he is currently a wanted man,
we cannot reveal his real name and we've kept his face hidden.
We were permitted only one day to interview him.
The mysterious veil shrouding the Anti-Foreigner Faction is about to be lifted and the truth revealed.
Where do they see this country going and what do they think must be done?
The Edo's special feature, "The Dawning of Japan."
A secret day in the life of The Unstoppable, follows right after these messages!
[Announcer Hanano's one day exclusive interview with rumored big time Anti-Foreigner ronin.]
[K-san The Unstoppable on the air!! Right after this!! Stay tuned.]
[THE EDO] [The Dawning of Japan Special The Unstoppable - One day undercover]
Hello, I'm Announcer Hanano from Edo Tonight.
Hello.
Thank you for agreeing to our interview.
Please let me confirm. You are The Unstoppable, K-san?
Not K-san. It's Katsura.
No, but... you asked me to use an alias...
K-tsura-san.
It's not K-tsura-san. It's Katsura!
Umm... Are you sure you want to give your real name?
Oh right. Add in a "pii."
[Note: "pii" as in a bleep censor]
Okay, I'll add a "pii."
So [censor beep]-san.
Not [censor beep]! It's Katsura!
Oh, well...never mind.
Oh, but we'll distort your face, so your identity won't be revealed.
Distort?! What? Is my face distorted right now?!
Yes, is that a problem?
Remove it right now! Doing such an obscene thing to a person's face is unacceptable!
No, but we're just being cautious for your sake...
Don't do me any favors!
Besides, it's more of a problem if people think my face goes against what is considered good taste.
Remove it immediately! Who do you think I am?!
Oh but...
I am a master of disguise. I am under disguise right now.
I am nicknamed "Getaway Kotaro." As if I would reveal my true self so easily.
Oh, but you've already revealed your real first and last name.
A woman should not speak of "revealing" herself.
Well, I don't quite understand...
But never mind.
I'm sorry. Anyway, we'll remove the distortion on your face.
Umm... let me return to my questions. K-san, I mean Katsura-san...
Why did you agree to this close-up interview today?
Well...
First of all, I want people to understand what the Anti-Foreigner Faction stands for.
Many people are afraid of us because we have been labeled as
criminals, terrorists, and guerillas...as dangerous men.
Most people in society do believe that.
However, that is wrong.
It's true that there are robbers and bandits.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
However, that's just a small segment.
Most of us love this nation and want to change it.
We want people to understand that we are loyal patriots.
...I see.
Secondly...
Secondly... Huh?
It's hard to eat with this on!
The moustache gets in the way!
K-Katsura-san!
Your...face is in plain view! ...
[Note: Literally, she says "marumie" or "open to view." But Katsura puts a sexual spin on it.]
A woman shouldn't speak about anything being in plain view!
I didn't mean it like that!
Ikumatsu-dono, what is the meaning of ramen noodles during an interview? Are you...
We're a ramen shop. If you want tea, go to a teashop.
Geez, bringing a whole brigade in here...!
She scolded me.
No, never mind that. But your face is in plain view.
Don't use that phrase!
Look, never mind that already.
Hmm... Where were we?
Yes... you were answering my question about why you agreed to our interview.
You were on the second reason.
Oh, yes, yes.
The second reason. Well, the second reason is...
Huh?
There's no second reason. Just one will do.
This aroma is richer than before... Delicious...
Oh, I see...
Well then, you wanted to broadcast the mission of the Anti-Foreigner Faction to everyone watching.
And you want each viewer to ponder about what can be done for this country.
Am I correct?
Oh yes, that's it.
That's just what I wanted to say.
What kind of stock did she use?
Flying fish? Dried mackerel?
Excuse me! Please don't "shoot from the hip" like that that.
[Note: She literally says, "koshi o oru" which means bend your hips, but Katsura takes it sexually.]
Don't use uncouth phrases like "massage the hip"!
He totally misunderstood.
Rather, that's an old lecher's gag line.
Right. Even when you are in the midst of a secret mission,
you must not forget hidden meanings and flavors.
Yes. So may I go on to the next question?
Like your daily schedule.
Elizabeth!
What's wrong? What happened?!
What is happening?! A strange creature has crashed into our interview site!
That's no strange creature! That's Elizabeth!
Katsura!
Your number is up today!
I-It's the Shinsengumi! What is going on?!
They knew where the interview was taking place!
Die! Katsura!!
And in this manner, a hectic day begins.
It's about time I left...
[Revival]
[Note: She is dressed as Eligo 13, a spoof of Golgo 13]
Huh? Is this part of the schedule?
Of course! Can the cameraman follow?
I don't want to block his way.
Katsura!
Hey! What's the big idea crashing my place like this?!
Oh, sorry.
Katsura-san, you seem to be accustomed to this crazy situation.
Does this happen a lot?
Well, yes. Those guys always show up anytime, anyplace.
Especially during mealtimes and when I'm asleep.
When most people tend to be off their guard.
Exactly.
They think I'm defenseless, but in three years, they have never been successful.
They can attack at mealtimes if they like...
Because I have Tasty Stick snacks on me at all times.
This one's corn potage.
I love them, too. The corn potage-flavored ones.
I love the rich flavor as it goes down my throat.
But the only disappointment
is that it often disintegrates into powder because I hold on to it for so long.
I see... After all, your work is very dangerous.
I'm fully aware of that. Every man from the moment he is born,
must live life prepared to die.
[If you are always prepared, you can remain calm. No matter what happens, there is no fear.]
If you are always prepared, you can remain calm.
No matter what happens, there is no fear.
To be honest, I've never known fear ever since I was born.
Now then, I'm going to escape from here.
Katsura!!
Katsura-san, didn't you just yelp?
That was a battle cry! You mistook it for "Uryahh!"
No, you were scared just now.
What? From over there, too?!
Tasty Stick! Corn Potage!
[Corn Potage]
We managed to escape.
Well, this is my morning warm-up.
It's a morning filled with heroism. Truly like an Anti-Foreigner patriot.
Umm... Katsura-san, aren't you getting off the roof?
No, I'm not.
When you're a big name like me, you get recognized immediately on the streets.
Katsura-san, you said you were a master of disguise.
Does that mean it hasn't been working?
Look.
Katsura-san, are you ignoring me?
There are others besides us who walk on rooftops.
They too are Anti-Foreigner patriots.
What? Are you serious, Katsura-san?
Yes.
Hey! Good morning.
Katsura-san, they're ignoring you. They're obviously just carpenters.
That's Gosaku. He must've had a fight with his wife again.
Look, the first half is about to end!
And you haven't done anything that an Anti-Foreigner patriot would do!
Real political activism... The Anti-Foreigner movement...
is a series of subtle, unperceivable acts.
Wow! He seems to be making some sensible statements
and trying to connect them to these confusing events!
Stay tuned! Don't change that channel.
[Don't change that channel!!]
[THE EDO] [The Dawning of Japan Special The Unstoppable - One day undercover]
Sorry, I'm late.
Katsura-san! Elizabeth-san! Good morning!
We have cameras here today, but don't worry about them.
We'll distort all your faces.
Right!
This has never been made public before.
It's the secret meeting place of the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
This is the first time people other than our comrades have been inside.
That battle strategy couldn't be helped!
And that's why you'll accept it?! What a masochistic viewpoint!
What do you do here, Katsura-san?
Anti-Foreigner Faction members mainly exchange information.
They're reporting on the results of their actions.
And the refreshment during these times...
is salami-flavored Tasty Stick .
Salami flavor? I like that too.
In other words, what we do most of the time as Anti-Foreigner Faction members
is exchange information.
All kinds of data that we've gathered from our travels here and there.
Mostly the state of the universe and classified news of the Bakufu government.
We exchange them and slowly spread them.
Namely, we exchange ideas and viewpoints with those in higher positions and try to persuade them.
And then, we force change from within the nation.
Masochistic?!
That's just Otsu-dono's sales strategy!
No! Otsu-dono has clearly stated that she is seeing Goemon.
In entertainment jargon, seeing equals you-know-what.
Why you...! And you call yourself a member of the Otsu Fan Club?!
I'll tell the president about you!
Well, I've switched to Tama-dono! I'm a rebel without a cause!
I'll punish you for that! Stay right there!
No way! You're the one who should admit the two are seeing each other!
What?! Otsu-dono is being fooled! That's why I refuse to admit it!
Get real! It makes no difference if she's being fooled with money or violence!
Silence! Silence! Silence!
You're no better than a natto-flavored Tasty Stick!
[Note: Natto = fermented soy beans]
And what's wrong with natto-flavored sticks?!
[Stop fighting.]
It's untouched, but always number one in popularity!
And besides, what about you with your salad-flavored sticks?!
Katsura-san, are they really discussing the state of the universe?
I heard names that usually appear in entertainment gossip columns.
Well, the exchange of information is usually done in secret code.
And depending on the passion one feels, there may be a confrontation.
I see.
Still...
Cut it out already, you punks!
K-Katsura-san... We're sorry.
That's why he's Katsura-san, The Unstoppable!
Only a few words uttered and the ronin...
I like Goemon quite a bit!
He's the embodiment of the unsightliness of the entertainment world and he's refreshing!
Huh?
Katsura!!
[It's the Shinsengumi!!]
Tasty Stick, salami!
Katsura-san, not again!
And that's how the meetings usually end.
Just the way it was scheduled, huh?
Katsura-san, just how many times a day are you attacked?
Every time I get to the meeting hall, they attack.
As a result, I can't exchange data properly! They're such a pain!
You're the worst pain! You're just being followed!
You brought those guys from this morning!
Gosaku! Get away quickly! They're here!
I said, that's not Gosaku.
Katsura!!
We got away somehow. I'm really exhausted.
The real thing is just starting.
Well, I don't care whether it's the real take or not.
Next, I shall show you how we meet with an important personage and persuade him.
Important personage? Who is he?!
Someone we cannot do without.
Is he out?
No, that can't be. He's got to be here.
He's not home, after all.
No, he's here.
Katsura-san, um...
No, he's here!
I said I don't have the rent!
Katsura-san!!
Gintoki, you will say "yes" today.
Damn, the door came off.
You are destined to fight alongside me.
Let us change this rotten world together!
This part is hard to reattach.
Oh... I admit this is not a simple request.
This will do.
But it's possible with you and I.
Gintoki, where are you going?!
Katsura-san, how is it going?
Yes, I'm getting a favorable impression. But it'll all depend on my final push.
Announcer Hanano, can you reach into my pocket for me? It's my trump card.
In a wager, the one who shows his hand first is the loser.
The one who hides his trump card until the last moment is the winner.
Oh, that's it.
In truth, the Tasty Stick flavors vary greatly according to size.
For example, the smallest is the chocolate-flavored one.
Gintoki... I wonder if he'll act the same when he sees this.
Katsura-san,
the chocolate-flavored Tasty Stick that was your trump card has been nabbed.
What?!
By whom?!
Ouch!
Oh, hello, Katsura-san.
Oh, hello.
Oh no... There's no need for tea.
No. Huh? Really? Thanks. Please don't bother.
What exactly are you doing here?!
Katsura!!
Surrender nice and easy.
Ngoh! They're here again!
Hey, girls are not supposed say "Ngoh."
Shut up! This isn't the time for that!
Katsura-san! Hurry, hurry!
Don't pull me out. It'll leave a hole and Gintoki will scold me.
Do you...intend to...
live here...forever...?!
Oh, I'm out.
[Go up!]
All right.
Up above! He's running away up there!
Capture him! Don't let him get away!
Announcer Hanano, after this,
shall we go to a certain place I know to eat,
drink and look at some old photos...
and welcome a surprise guest,
and finally, read a poignant letter from an old friend?
How about something touching like that?
[Spoof of "Uchi Kuru?!" COME TO MY "HOME SWEET HOME" a TV show that visits a celebrity's hometown.]
What are you talking about?!
Do you want a letter?
You may be popular now, but long ago,
maybe you were a wimp who was always teased for looking like a girl.
Or a teacher from grade school said some embarrassing things about you!!
Is that what you want?!
Don't tell me you don't have a letter?
Of course not! We're not interested in any of your friends!
I figured as much and already have one ready.
Just how prepared are you?! Just how much is according to your plans?!
Wait for the right moment, then present it. It will be a touching scene.
I'm counting on you. It took me all night to write it!!
You wrote it?! That's enough to make me cry!
Eat this!!
In order to get ratings, a little bit of faking is necessary.
That's not the point!
Where is the boundary between "the real" and "the fake"?
I want everyone in mass media to ask themselves that!
What?! Are you judging the mass media?!
Huh? Katsura-san, can you see that up ahead?!
Up front!! Up ahead! Ahead!
Make sure you get this on camera!
This is how an Anti-Foreigner patriot lives!
I've been nervous about that for a while.
Careful! That camera is really old!
Hey, cameraman! Did you get my jump just now?
It was better than Jackie himself!
[Note: He's referring to Jackie Chan.]
Got it all, Katsura-san!
Good.
Where am I?!
Huh? You just noticed?
We're in the middle of shooting an action scene that surpasses even Jackie's!
What do you mean? I don't understand!
Propaganda must be convincing and have images full of power and intensity!
By the way, can you make me a copy of this later? I'm going to send it back home.
Back home? You're gonna send it back?!
Katsura...
It's time to say your prayers.
Don't panic. I'm The Unstoppable.
They'll be more afraid of me and miss.
Announcer Hanano, make sure you tell the people of this nation
what kind of people we Anti-Foreigner patriots were!
Katsura-san?!
I'm counting on you.
So long, Katsura.
Katsura-san!!
Huh? Huh?!
If you are always prepared, you can remain calm.
No matter what happens, there is nothing to fear!
Katsura-san...
Okita-san! It's going to take a while to recharge!
Damn it! Let's go!
Look!
Bye bee!
[Bye bee]
No way!
He's dangerous! He's so outdated! He's too outdated!
Hey! You there, woman! Don't move!
You're one of Katsura's friends.
No, I'm just reporting...
Don't lie. You're coming with me for questioning!
No!
What's this?
To everyone in the Shinsengumi...
I know it's odd to ask this of an enemy,
but please don't lay a hand on the woman in front of you.
She is simply a journalist and I made her come do a story on me.
She has nothing to do with the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
You are my enemy, but as a man who also wishes for the happiness of the people of Edo,
as a samurai who lives for truth... I want to believe in you all.
To Announcer Hanano and her two-man crew,
I admire you all for putting yourselves in harm's way in order to report the truth.
And while we both work in different ways,
you too, are patriots who desire peace in Edo.
We are comrades.
Please continue your endeavors. I will be watching every day.
Kotaro Katsura.
P.S.!
Okita-san? What's this ticking sound?
What is this?
All Shinsengumi should die!
The thing to look for is the long hair. This messy long hair.
He always has Tasty Sticks on hand
to use as trump cards and his sense of humor is totally outdated.
You'll get sick just talking to him for a minute.
If you see this face,
please call the police immediately.
Go to hell, Katsura!!
["Rhinoceros Beetles Teach Boys That Life is Precious"]
The next episode! Beetle hunting!
[The Odd Jobs Trio find out that rhinoceros beetles can be sold at high prices and set out to catch them!!]
[But when they get to the forest, the Shinsengumi is already hard at work.]
[Salami]